How to Debate Religion Online
In order to debate effectively about religion on the internet please follow this guide or you risk digression and other methods of inaccurate debate.
STEP #1. Start the Debate
Find three strangers in a Discord server. One has a Roman emperor avatar, one is named after a zombie, one is an evangelical with toaster oven confidence. Begin immediately.
2. Establish Authority
Type COPE in all caps as such:
COPE.
3. Quote the Original Greek
Interrupt at random and insist the entire argument depends on a single Greek verb. Provide a transliteration no one asked for. Repeat it until the chat is functionally unreadable.
4. Insert Constantine
Announce he was Stalin in sandals. Leave for approximately three minutes to reset the lobby.
5. Infinite Loop Question
Every 45 seconds ask What is YOUR church. Repeat until opponent loses on time.
6. Communion Physics
Place a Bible next to a graphing calculator. If the answer is delayed, declare that it will forever be a mystery and continue without resolution.
7. Invoke Atheism
Announce that atheism is the silent participant in current debate.
8. Claim Cognitive Firmware
Announce that your way of thinking was installed directly by a permanent system that cannot be altered. Counter with assertions.
9. Time Travel Doctrine
If asked where your church was in 400 AD, answer Yes. Provide no clarification.
10. Exit Strategy
When cornered, type COPE again and leave server. You are now Bishop of the Internet.